She
by Notinmyhead
Summary: Can she survive the unimaginable? Can she be helped by the only person who truly knows her? Trigger warning: rape.
1. Chapter 1

Taking a deep breath in and then exhaling, Emily closed her eyes, bit the bullet and opened the door to the bull pen, where she could see the rest of her team chatting away happily about their weekends, having not noticed her presence yet.

She slowly walked towards them, trying to prolong the inevitable.

"Em!" Garcia exclaimed when she noticed Emily approach, leaping up from her position on Morgan's chair and launching herself at Emily, who on instinct dug her feet in to the ground, having experienced many of Garcia's whirlwind hugs before.

"Hey, Pen." She greeted softly, before glancing at the rest of the team once Garcia pulled away. "Hey guys."

They all stared back at her, each one with a different level of shock on their faces.

Emily sighed. She knew it was bad. Not even the copious amounts of concealer she had used this morning could cover up the bruises that extended from her right cheek, over her jaw and down to her neck. She was wearing the highest necked top she owned, and even that couldn't cover them completely. She was also finding it increasingly harder to disguise the limp on her left foot.

"Emily, what happened?" JJ asked, rising to her feet, a look of genuine concern written all over her face.

Emily shook her head, her defense plans ready to go. "Nothing, honestly." She insisted, laying her bag down under her desk and taking a seat. She quickly let her eyes roam over the room, taking in everyone that was in and out, making sure there were no potential threats- it was natural for an FBI agent to do this.

"Seriously, Em? You work with a bunch of profilers. Give us some more credit."

"Ugh, fine." Emily sighed. "I was walking home Friday night and someone tried to get my bag. It's okay, though, I fought him off; everything's okay now."

There were a few moments of silence before Morgan spoke up.

"Looks like you put up one hell of a fight." He commented, clocking the bruises on her face, which although faded, were no doubt probably more prominent without makeup.

Emily scoffed and gave him a small side smile- it was about all she could muster. "'Course I did. You should see the other guy."

This seemed to break the tension in the room, as everyone seemed to relax. A few people chuckled, and everybody resumed their positions at their desks, finishing off paperwork. However, Emily could still feel JJ's intense gaze on her back, and she knew that the blonde profiler hadn't bought her story. However, she didn't think she could deal with a whole explanation right then, so she chose to ignore it, making a point of looking extra focused on the new stack of paperwork that presumably Hotch had left on her desk.

It wasn't until later, when Emily decided to stretch her muscles and help herself to coffee, that JJ eventually managed to talk to her.

"Hey, Em." She said casually, as if she hadn't already been making her own coffee when she saw Emily coming and deliberately took her time pretending to be getting the perfect cream-to-coffee ratio mastered.

Emily looked at her suspiciously. She knew that JJ didn't even take cream in her coffee, claiming that to be a profiler was to have the need of pure, undiluted caffeine. "Hey, Jayje." She greeted her.

JJ smiled at Emily's nickname for her. "How are you doing? That bruising looks painful."

Emily sighed. "It's honestly not as bad as it looks."

"Well it looks pretty bad. And that's with you trying to cover it up."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Geez, thanks. Kick a girl when she's down, why don't you?"

They both chuckled lightly before JJ leaned in closer, lowering her voice so that only the two of them could hear it. "Are you going to tell me what actually happened?" She asked.

Emily's eyes widened in fake shock, having prepared herself for no one to believe her. She had saw this coming a mile off, especially from JJ, who seemed to know her better than anyone. "I told you," she mumbled, "some dickswab tried to get my bag, and I fought him off. He got in a good few punches, but he still ended up worse off."

JJ was silent for a moment, in disbelief at Emily's blatant lie. She knew that out of all of the members of their BAU team, Emily was perhaps the one who had built her walls the highest. It did hurt though, that she was being blocked out.

"Bullshit." She sighed, deciding to cut straight to the point and call Emily out.

"Excuse me?" Emily gasped, not having expected JJ to be quite so forward.

"Bullshit." JJ repeated, more confidently this time. "I'm not going to push you, but I know that's not all that happened. So whenever you want to talk, I'm here." She said with a note of finality, and walked away, giving Emily her space.

Emily stood there for a few seconds, ever so tempted to call JJ back over and explain everything. But then she closed her eyes, and as normal, she saw the events of Friday night replay themselves in her head, and she shook her head to dispel them. No, she decided. She couldn't tell JJ. She couldn't bear for the other woman to know how weak she had been... How she hadn't been able to fight him off.

Heading back over to her desk, she continued doing her paper work, keeping her head down and avoiding the curious looks that Reid kept giving her, having witnessed her and JJs heated conversation from across the room.

It had just approached 12pm and the team were beginning to think about lunch, and that they may possibly have a calm day that ended in time- a rare occasion- when both Hotch and Garcia entered the bullpen, Garcia clutching a hefty case file and Hotch looking, as per usual, solemn.

There was a simultaneous groan from the team.

"A new case?" Emily questioned.

They both nodded in confirmation. "A series of murders in downtown LA." Hotch elaborated, beckoning for the team to join them in the meeting room.

As Garcia began the process of presenting the case, Emily felt the never-ending waves of anxiety and nausea in her stomach increase as the details of the murders were revealed- women, all in their mid-to-late thirties, all violently raped and tortured before being murdered. Every single one of them was brunette, and she could have sworn that one of them looked like her.

She was a hundred miles away as the images of the tortured bodies appeared on the screen, sending images of that night through her head, her own screams, his rough hands...

"Prentiss, what do you think?"

She was brought back in to reality with a painful jolt. She shook her head, dispelling any negative thoughts. Taking a second, she recounted what information she had taken in. "Umm... Most likely male. All of these victims resemble each other, so there might have been someone in his life whom he resented with a similar appearance. He's angry, too. His brutality and lack of technique show that much." She listed off.

She was relieved when Hotch nodded and made a note on his tablet of her comments. She did the same, focusing on putting her statement in to as many words as possible to prolong the moment where she would have to look back up at the screen.

Thirty minutes and a brainstorm session later, the team were grabbing their go-bags and preparing to make their way to the run way to board the jet. After confirming with her neighbour, Brianna, that Sergio would be well cared for in her absence, Emily made to join the rest of the team on the jet.

She made a point of sitting as far away from the team as possible, placing her bag and jacket on the seat next to her to make sure that it couldn't be occupied. She paid little attention to what was going on over the ten minutes that it took for everyone to board and for the jet to take off.

Once everything had settled down and the jet reached cruising height, the deep-set exhaustion finally started catching up to Emily. Between the dull rumble of the plane's engine and the pleasant feeling of the cool glass of the window against her bruised face, combined with the fact that she had slept all of two hours over the past three days, it wasn't long before she found herself drifting off.

 _The room was dark, the outlines of various objects in her room barely decipherable through the grainy darkness._

 _Although she was hardly able to see, she could feel nothing but a deep, searing pain, most likely what had woken her up, spreading from her cheekbones to her forehead._

 _It was then that she saw him. A dark, hooded figure had been standing just outside her line of sight. He was perhaps the only thing in the room that she could see clearly, despite him being clothed in black. Although she couldn't see his eyes, she saw the half –smile of his mouth, an intimidating kind of smirk that made her feel sick to her stomach._

 _Her vision was blurred as her eyes watered from the pain that was radiating through her face, but she could see him coming closer, reaching to wrap his hands around her throat..._

 _Closer, closer..._

Across the jet, Morgan and JJ were inattentively watching Reid and Rossi go head to head in a game of chess. While Reid and Rossi were extremely focused and taking the whole things too seriously, neither Morgan nor JJ were paying too much attention.

Catching JJ casting another worried glance at Emily, Derek spoke up. "You're worried about her." He said. There was no question in his voice, just stating what was obvious.

JJ scoffed. "Of course. Look at her." She said quietly, and they both looked over at Emily, who was sleeping soundly on the other side of the jet. Her bruises were visible from where they sat and they could clearly see the way that her arm sub-consciously wrapped itself around her body, protecting both herself and her rib cage. "There's no way that it was just some guy who tried to steal her bag and she fought him off."

"Why do you think that?" Morgan asked, although he agreed with the blonde. There was something different about Emily's usual composed manner, something missing.

"Did you see the look in her eyes?" JJ asked, her voice shaking slightly. "Normally there's this spark, this playful wisdom... But there's nothing there now. And did you see the way she flinched away when you went to wrap an arm around her shoulder earlier? That's not Emily."

Morgan nodded. Just before they had boarded the jet, as they were walking on to the runway, he had casually gone to sling an arm around both JJ and Emily's shoulders. While JJ had made no reaction, being used to Morgan's flirty nature, Emily had flinched violently, ignoring their questioning looks before quickening her pace and hurrying on to the jet.

"Yeah, something's definitely up. But you know Prentiss, no one can force her to tell us anything. She'll do it in her own time.

"Yeah." JJ said, although not entirely convinced. She wanted to badly to believe that everything was okay, but she knew it wasn't. She, out of everyone on the team, was probably the person that new Emily the best, and she wasn't entirely willing to simply wait for Emily to open up- because judging by Emily's past records, she could be waiting a while.

Her thoughts were interrupted, however, when hurried movement caught the corner of her eye. She glanced in the direction it was coming from, and she could see Emily thrashing about in her sleep. She and Hotch made eye contact, having a silent conversation with their eyes. JJ nodded and rose from her seat, waving Morgan back down when he started to do the same.

As she approached Emily, it broke her heart to see tears forming and clinging to her friend's eyelashes before they ran down her cheeks. It was strange to see Emily cry- she could count on one hand the number of times the other agent had every let her guard down in front of anyone, which was how she knew that something must be seriously wrong with her friend. She ran over the pros and cons of waking someone up from a nightmare in her head, and was undecided.

However, when Emily let out a soft whimper and hit her arm roughly off of the table, she decided that it would do her more harm than good to stay asleep. So, she picked up Emily's jacket and bag from the chair and placed them carefully on the table, before taking a seat next and laying a gentle hand on Emily's shoulder.

"Em, it's only a dream. Wake up." She murmured softly in to her friend's ear, using her free hand to gently stroke Emily's hair, as if calming a child. She continued to do this until, eventually, Emily's actions slowed and her eyes snapped open, her breathing erratic.

Emily's heart was racing and her breaths burned in her chest as her lungs took in the much-needed air. Her eyes darted around the room, more tears forming as she slowly came to the realisation of where she was and what had happened.

"Are you okay, Em?" JJ asked her softly, wiping a tear from her friend's cheek and backing away quickly when Emily flinched violently at the close contact.

"I'm fine." Emily murmured, clearing her throat, which had become scratchy. She noticed that she was cowered against the seat of the plane, with her arms wrapped around her body. She sat up straighter, blood rushing to her

Deciding that she needed some space, away from everyone's prying eyes, she excused herself and stood up to go to the toilet, working hard to prevent herself from running.

Once Emily had exited, the team looked at each other with worry in their eyes, wanting nothing more than to help their friend.


	2. Chapter 2

Finally alone, Emily collapsed onto the hotel room bed. She and JJ were doubling up, but the younger blonde had deemed pizza necessary, and had ventured in to down town LA, hunting for the perfect pepperoni pizza.

"Room service pizza isn't going to cut it, after today." She had insisted, and Emily could only agree with her. She had nodded understandingly, both to be able to get five minutes alone time and also because something so completely unhealthy sounded amazing right now.

This case _was_ rough. Rape victims. Torture victims. Murder victims. Just the mere thought of what they had observed at the crime scene of the latest murder was enough to make Emily's skin crawl, to make her wrap her arms tightly around herself as she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror that was on the wall opposite the bed.

"Keep it together." She whispered to herself determinedly, forcing herself to sit back up and change into a pair of pyjamas- some comfy leggings and a long-sleeved t-shirt. She tugged the hair tie from her hair, finally letting it relax from the tight ponytail she had placed it in earlier that day, massaging her aching scalp.

She couldn't bring herself to think about the scene on the plane that morning. She had spent the whole weekend working herself up for work that week, preparing every excuse and practicing her best poker face. And still, it had still all gone down the drain within two hours of returning.

It was annoying, irritating beyond belief, that it appeared that this _man_ was going to have an effect on her life. Before her shame, her pain, and her heartbreak came her anger. She was supposed to be Emily Prentis, badass FBI agent who didn't flinch at anything, and here she was, lying on a hotel room bed, thinking about her feelings. Ugh.

Unable to sit still with so many thoughts reeling around her head, she took to pacing around the room, almost rhythmically going back and forth. She jumped when she heard the door open and immediately sprung to the other side of the room, flattening herself against the wall furthest from the door and pulling her gun from her jacket pocket and pointing it at the door, her heart pounding in her chest.

"Hey, so they didn't have any pepperoni but- Jeez, Em!" JJ gasped, dropping the pizza boxes to the floor and raising her and in surrender.

As soon as she realised who it was, Emily let her hands fall to her sides and she closed her eyes, turning away from her blonde friend, tears building up in her eyes yet again.

"Oh, uh, sorry, Jayje. I just, didn't expect you back so soon." She mustered out, trying to conceal her shaking hands as she returned her gun back to her pocket and sat down on the be carefully, taking a deep breath to calm herself before looking up at JJ, who had a look of both concern and confusion on her face.

"Yeah, well..." JJ began slowly. She didn't know whether or not to pry Emily on this, because she knew when it came to putting up walls, the brunette was a pro. Sighing, she continued. "They didn't have pepperoni, so I just took some ham and pineapple because it was all they had." She said, picking up the pizza boxes, happy to note that nothing had been harmed.

"You? Not waiting for pepperoni?" Emily asked, phased. She had known JJ to literally wait over an hour in the past for a pepperoni pizza, claiming that all other pizzas were nothing in comparison at a classic pepperoni.

"Yeah, well, I'm so hungry. And I was more concerned about getting back to you. And given that I just walked in to you pointing a gun at me, I made the right decision." JJ said, half laughing, but also indicating her head pointedly towards the bed, and from the look in her eye, Emily knew that she expected an explanation.

And deep down, Emily knew she deserved one. Not only had JJ stuck by her through everything that arisen over the last few years, from finding out about the abortion she had at fifteen to faking her own death and fleeing to Paris, but she had also just had a gun pointed at her for no apparent reason, and had not deemed Emily crazy.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed beside JJ, she took a deep breath. She didn't even know where to start, let alone explain the whole thing. How could she explain to JJ what this man had done? How she felt? What had happened to her? She didn't even understand it herself. It had all happened so quickly and she felt overwhelmed.

"I went on a date on Friday night." She began, closing her eyes as the image of the blonde haired, blue eyed man came back to her, his once charming smile from the other side of the dinner table, candle light casting shadows over his face. "His name was Joseph. Joseph Lane."

The word felt like acid on her tongue. It was the first time, since introducing herself that night, that she had said his name out loud. It somehow made the whole thing real. Giving him a name made him a real person who posed real danger, instead of a simple monster under the bed.

Seeing that Emily was struggling, JJ again placed a comforting hand on the brunette's arm. "How did the date go?" She prompted.

"It went perfectly. He was charming and funny, he made me laugh. I was hopeful, because he seemed understanding of my job, and all of the crazy hours and time out of the country. He was unassuming and witty and kind. Everything I could have hoped for, really." Emily said, blushing slightly at her romantic ramblings. Pressing the palm of her hand against her cheek, she kept going.

"I had planned on seeing him again. I gave him my number and let him walk me to the door, we kissed. I got back in to my apartment feeling ten years younger." She said with a smile. However, she realised the happy, fluffy part of her story was over. She swallowed, and clenched her fists tightly.

"I think I was so eager to find someone, that I didn't notice a lot of things. I mean, I'm a profiler, I should be able to notice these things..." She trailed off. "Looking back, he asked a lot of questions about me, but never really spoke about himself. He was very observant, always picking up on little things. I wasn't in profiler mode, I thought it was charming, for god's sake." She spat.

"When we said goodnight, he cottoned on to the extra security on my door. He asked about it, and I told him it was because all these years in the FBI taught me to at least have a good security system in place. I never really thought anything of it, he probably was just curious about all of the locks on the door. We said goodnight, and I went to bed."

This was the part she was dreading most. The part where things took a turn for the worst, like a plot twist in a tragic movie. Expect this wasn't a movie, or something she could dissociate from. This was her life, this had happened to her, and she needed to face it.

Seeing once again that her friend was close to tears, JJ frowned and took one of Emily's hands in to both of hers. "You don't have to tell me, it's okay if you can't I shouldn't have pushed, I-"

But Emily cut her off. "No, it's okay. You deserve to know, and I need to actually say it."

It took her a few more moments, in which the words were stuck in her throat, the weight of what had happened seeming to hold them back. She swallowed a few times and took a few deep breaths, and, squeezing JJ's hand tightly, went on.

"I'm not normally a deep sleeper. I think it's an FBI thing, you know, always sleep with one eye open. But I'd had a few drinks, I was happy, and I was out like a light.

"I don't remember a lot, just pain. I woke up, and all I could feel was a deep, searing pain. I think he might have punched me awake... And he was there. He was dressed all in black this time, with his hood up, but it was his smile. That damn, charming smile... except it was twisted. Arrogant. And he came closer and closer... And I tried, I really did, but..."

Her words caught in her throat.

She had expected to cry. To bawl and sob and to lose all dignity. But she didn't. She didn't have the energy. She just sat there, staring blankly, while the events played themselves over and over again in her mind.

JJ stared at her in horror. There was one word, slowly spelling itself out in her mind. A word that sent shivers running down her spine and caused her stomach to rise to her throat.

"Em... Did he... Did he r-rape you?" She choked out, tears falling from her eyes as she tried to keep her shit together for her friend.

Emily didn't say anything. She couldn't, because all of a sudden what little she had eaten that day seemed to revolt against her insides, and she staggered towards the en-suite bathroom, making it to the toilet just in time to empty the contents of her stomach. JJ dropped to her knees beside her, holding back her hair and running a soothing hand over Emily's back. She understood that perhaps, in that moment, everything had become too much.

Sinking back into JJ arms once her stomach was officially empty and her throat burned with nothing but bile, Emily felt defeated. Empty. "Sorry." She mumbled, wiping some stray tears from her face.

"Don't me sorry." JJ whispered, sliding from on her knees on to her bum, her back leaning against the bathroom door. It seemed natural to sit there, with Emily in her arms, although there was nothing about natural about the situation at all.

They sat like that for longer than either of them cared to count. Through the window they could see the last of the daylight slipping away in golden haze, the inky black sky making its appearance.

"Have you been to the hospital?" JJ asked quietly, breaking the silence. She knew it was a pointless question- Emily Prentiss hated hospitals. Every time she had been injured on a case, from head lacks to internal bleeding, she had been stubborn enough that it took a team full of FBI agents to convince her to be checked out. She couldn't even imagine the fight she would put up this time.

Unsurprisingly, Emily shook her head, looking dejected. "They say it's worse... And I can't do any worse."

JJ sighed. She knew the statistics. She had interviewed rape victims before. She understood why Emily didn't want to go to hospital, to relive the events of that night over, to make herself a victim. Part of her wanted to drop it, but then her eyes fell, again, upon her friend's bruised face, her tired eyes. The way she had her eyes screwed up, almost as if she was afraid to open them.

"Em..." She trailed off. She didn't want to have to beg her friend. But there was something about Emily being hurt that sparked a protectiveness in her, and she couldn't let it go.

"In the morning." Emily sighed. She knew herself that her injuries were beyond bruises. Her left ankle throbbed with every step, her ribs sent shooting pains through her body every time she breathed, and she knew she had a few nasty tears that wouldn't heal themselves. She knew JJ was right, and she was tired of fighting. She just wanted to rest.

JJ smiled weakly. Although she would have preferred Emily to have urgent medical attention, she knew that there was only so much one person could take. "Okay. How about we settle down, try and get some sleep?"

Emily nodded, the exhaustion from the past few days catching up to her. Wincing as she stood and her body ached in protest, she took JJ's outstretched hand and leaned heavily on her as they walked back through to the room.

Less than an hour later, Emily had passed out on the bed, the pain and emotional distress having knocked her out.

JJ watched her sleep, and felt anger rising in her chest. A hot, bubbling anger at the man who had done this. It was that anger that fuelled her as she pulled out her phone, making her way on to the balcony of the hotel room, the cool night air welcoming to her messy thoughts, and dialled Garcia's number.

" _Gumdrop, it's late, is everything okay?"_ She heard Garcia's naturally chipper voice answer.

"I'm sorry, I know it's late. I'm fine. But I need your help. I need you to find everything you can on a man named Joseph Lane..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi guys! Sorry for the long time between updates. Working full time is no mean feat. But here's another chapter, fueled by a post-Christmas food coma.**

 **Just to clear things up, this is kind of an AU story. Takes place sometime after Emily's return in season 7, except that Will doesn't exist and neither does Henry- I both of said characters dearly, but my Jemily loving heart just couldn't find a way for them to be in this fic.**

 **Also, this is my first Criminal Minds fic (for all you Grey's Anatomy fans, feel free to check out my other ones), so I'm still getting used to writing it- you know, figuring out the new pace, and how to write different characters and such. So please bear with me!**

 **I hope your day is filled with joy. Happy existing!**

"But what about the case? We're not even back at Quantico for this."

"I told Hotch that we would be able to go to the precinct in the afternoon, that we just needed this morning."

Emily stopped in her tracks. "What did you say to him?" She asked quietly. She wasn't ready for the rest of the team to know what had happened. She hadn't even been entirely ready to tell JJ, although she had to admit she was glad she did. Looking back, she wasn't sure how she had planned to keep this information from the blonde profiler.

JJ placed a comforting hand on Emily's jiggling knee. "I didn't say anything. He asked me why, but I asked him to trust me on this. After working with him for nine years, I told him he could at least trust me this much."

"Still looks shady, though." Emily muttered, her hand automatically going to her mouth as she started biting her nails.

"Stop." JJ said softly, taking Emily's hands in hers. "Can you honestly tell me that you would have gone to the doctors when we got back?"

Emily couldn't meet JJ's eyes. She almost smiled at how well the blonde knew her. She had really met her match with JJ, the blonde being the only one on the team persistent enough to break down her walls.

"Exactly." The blonde murmured. "You know this is for the best. It would make it worse not to see a doctor."

Emily didn't say anything, she just nodded her head. At that moment, a young female doctor with curly red hair rounded the corner, clipboard in hand, looking around the waiting room. "Emily Prentiss?" She called out.

Emily felt her heart skip a beat as simultaneously, JJ's hand tightened around hers. "T-that's me." She said, standing up hesitantly and taking a step forward towards the young doctor.

"Miss Prentiss, I'm Dr Annie Brennan. If you would like to follow me through?" She said, reaching out her hand for Emily to shake. Emily half smiled at the kind-faced doctor, amused that someone with so much red hair should be called Annie.

"Emily." She introduced herself, shaking Annie's hand and proceeded to follow her through to the examination room. She didn't let go of JJ's hand the entire time. She tried not to think about it too much, but something freaked her out about the fact that it just felt _right._ There was something about the warmth of JJ's hand in hers that provided more comfort to her than words ever could. However, the increase in her heart rate pulled her out of her thoughts as she was snapped back to reality of a hospital room.

Perching herself precariously on the edge of the examination table, with JJ standing at her side, she watched as Annie sat on a hair opposite the table and set the file to the side, her composure changing from directly professional to a more relaxed stance.

"So, Emily." She started in a gentle voice. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Taking a long, rattling breath to prepare herself, before closing her eyes, and launching in to the story. She didn't stop for breath as she retold the events of Friday night, and she didn't open her eyes- she knew that if she did, she wouldn't be able to bring herself to continue.

As she finished her story, she finally opened her eyes again, blinking rapidly to let them readjust to the florescent hospital lights. She also noticed that her heart was racing, and her palms were sweaty. She let go of JJ's hand and wiped her hands on the tops of her thighs, wincing as she unintentionally pressed against the bruises there.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you." Annie said, and Emily could tell that she was being sincere, and not just saying it because she had to.

"What happens now?" JJ asked.

"Can you describe your injuries for me?" Annie asked gently, this time reaching behind her for a pair of sterile gloves and pulling them on, snapping them at her wrists.

"Well, as you can see, I have bruises all over. I think I've injured my ribs, too. My ankle is swollen and pretty badly bruised." Emily rattled off in one breath, before hesitating. "And, I, um, have some tears." She said the last part quietly, and it was obvious to JJ and Annie exactly what kind of tears she was meaning.

JJ stared down into her lap, trying to stop the tears that threatened the corners of her eyes. She made a fist with her hand that wasn't occupying Emily's, trying to put all of her rage in to one tight fist. Her rage was directed directly at the man who had done this to Emily- Joseph Lane- if he had even given his real name.

Annie quickly jotted down what Emily told her, before setting her clipboard aside and moving closer to Emily. She kept her stance relaxed and her movements steady, not sure quite yet of how Emily felt about sudden movements.

"Okay, so we'll start with more of the surface injuries, so to speak." Annie said. From a cabinet in the corner, she pulled out what Emily recognised to be a hospital gown and held it out. The brunette groaned, remembering vividly the itchy, papery gowns that were unflattering in every way. While recovering from the whole Doyle fiasco, she had pretty much lived in hospital gowns. It was not a memory she cared to revisit.

Once Annie left, JJ turned to face the wall so that Emily could change into the gown. It was a slow process- Emily's body still ached and protested with every movement, and having her body exposed made her feel nervous.

"Do you need a hand?" JJ asked, hearing the occasional grunt of pain and intake of breath, no matter how hard Emily tried to conceal them.

"I'm okay." Emily said quietly, fastening the gown at the back and perching herself again on the edge of the examination table. Again, she felt her heart rate picking up, as she realised that there was no backing out now. Although she may be a hardcore, badass FBI agent, she hated doctors.

There was a soft knock on the door, and Annie poked her head around the doorframe, this time with her hair tied up. "You ready?" She asked, with a smile.

"As I'll ever be." Emily said, with a nervous laugh. However, she was so nervous that her laugh came out as more of a strangled bark. Looking down at her hands, searching for a focal point, she waited for Annie to speak.

"Okay..." Annie said, standing opposite Emily. "We'll start with some basic blood tests, and then move on to a physical examination."

Emily nodded, resignedly holding out her arm.

Once she'd had her blood taken and it had been taken by a nurse to the lab, Annie changed her gloves and turned to Emily with a more serious expression.

"Now, I'm just going to feel around your arms and legs, just checking the bruises and making sure there's nothing underlying, is that okay?" She asked gently, knowing that it was always the number one rule with sexual assault patients to tell them when and where they were going to do something.

Emily nodded, closing her eyes as she felt Annie's hands pressing against her arms, carefully scanning them from top to bottom.

She tried to swallow the lump in her throat as she felt hands, _his_ hands, striking against her skin. Her bottom lip trembled as she repeated over and over to herself ' _not his hands, her hands, not his hands, her hands'_ and she concentrated on squeezing JJs hand.

JJ watched her best friend struggle to keep it together, and more tears rose to her eyes. This time, they weren't tears of anger, but tears of heartbreak. It broke her to see Emily looking so broken, so scared. In all the years she had known Emily, she could count on one hand the number of times the older agent had let her guard down in front of her. And it was heartbreaking to see it happen when it did.

"So there doesn't seem to be any further damage around the bruising, no sign of hematomas. I think we're okay on that front." Annie said. "Now, I need to take a look at that ankle. Do you remember how you hurt it?"

Emily closed her eyes as Annie gently examined her ankle, poking and prodding to test the swelling and the way the ankle moved. "I, um, think when I tried to run. But he'd bound my feet together, so I just fell, and that's when I hurt it." She had to force the words out of her mouth, and lowered her head again in shame. Why had she not been able to fight him off? It was literally part of her job.

Annie sighed, looking sad. "Again, I'm so sorry this happened to you. But from what I can see, I think it's a minor sprain, so it should be healed in a week. You'll obviously have to stay off of it, so no breaking down doors and tackling criminals, as you crazy FBI agents seem to do so often." She said, eliciting a small chuckle from both JJ and Emily.

"Don't worry, I'll try to restrain myself." Emily said.

"Okay, so now, I need to check your ribs and abdomen. I need to check for internal bleeding, but I'm not too concerned that there will be any- since this happened on Friday, you would have known about it if there was." Annie explained.

Emily held her breath as Annie stood behind her, gently as possible inspecting the older woman's ribs, pressing gently to feel for any fractures or cracks. Emily felt her breath catch and her back arch as pain shot up her side as she felt Annie press on her bottom two left ribs.

"Ahh." She exhaled, screwing her eyes up in pain and trying to breathe evenly, even if doing so hurt.

Annie backed away, an apologetic look on her face. "I'm sorry. But it does appear that your two lower left ribs are broken. There's not much we can do except leave them to heal naturally, but I can write a prescription for some painkillers that should help."

At this, JJ raised her eyebrows in amusement and watched as Emily huffed. She knew that getting the brunette to consider taking any form of pain medication was going to be a battle within itself.

"Yeah, I've had broken ribs before." Emily said with a smirk. "Being an FBI agent seems to come with perpetual injuries." She said this as a joke, but both she and JJ knew that this was actually true. Neither one of them could count on one hand the number of injuries they had sustained in this line of work- from minor cuts and bruises to the likes of table legs through the abdomen.

"I can imagine." Annie chuckled, taking note of the injuries and her planned course of action. Once she had checked Emily's abdomen and was satisfied there was no internal bleeding, she again set aside her notes and took a deep breath. She knew this part was going to be the hardest.

"I have to ask you to make a decision. And if you need a minute to answer, I completely understand. I can leave the room and come back when you're ready." Annie said slowly. "Do you wish me to perform a rape kit?"

Emily fell silent for a few seconds. She had known that Annie would ask this question eventually, but she had allowed her mind to switch off to the prospect. The word 'rape' itself made her stomach churn. She glanced up to JJ, who herself didn't know what Emily's answer would be.

"I..." Emily trailed off, not knowing how to put the thousands of thoughts that were racing around her head into words.

"If you need some time, I understand." Annie said softly, gesturing to the door and making to leave.

"No- I..." Emily took a deep breath. "It's just, it's been four days- I'm not sure how much you would get from it." She said honestly. She had showered multiple times since Friday night, each one in an attempt to scrub _him_ from her skin.

Annie considered her words. "Well, I need to do an examination anyway, as you mentioned you have some tears. I agree with what you say, that there won't be much point in a full rape kit, but I can always take some swabs and go from there?"

Emily nodded, looking up at JJ. "Jayje? What do you think?" She asked, her voice small.

JJ bit her lip. "It's up to you, Em. Any evidence we can get could help."

"I just..." Emily trailed off. "You know how slim the chances of us catching him are, right?"

JJ smirked. "Hun, we're the BAU. We're the most badass team in the world. Of course we'll catch him." She promised, and Emily knew she was right. They had managed to catch some of the worst serial killers of all time, leaders of terrorist cells and cannibals. As terrifying as he was to her, Emily knew that catching her rapist would be far from the toughest case her team would face.

Taking yet another, deep, rattling breath, Emily nodded. "Okay. That's what we'll do." She agreed.

Not even five minutes later, Emily's legs were up in stirrups. She had her eyes closed and she was holding on to JJs hand as though it were her very own lifeline. Her previous mantra, _her hands, not his,_ came back to her, although she was unable to prevent the images of his face forming in her mind. His rough hands, his weight on hers...

"Hey, Em, look at me." JJ pleaded with Emily, seeing the pain on her friend's face. "Just focus on me." She said, placing her palm across Emily's cheeks and smiling tearfully when a pair of big brown eyes met hers. "That's it. I know it hurts, but it will be over soon." She comforted her friend, stroking Emily's hair.

Emily writhed in pain as she felt Annie examining the tears that he had left her with. Tears rose to her eyes as the sharp, stinging pain provided another reminder of what he had done to her.

"I'm afraid you're going to need a few stitches." Annie said apologetically, looking up at Emily. "There's a couple of tears here that just won't heal themselves. But I can numb the area first, don't worry."

Emily just nodded, making it a point to focus only on JJs face, the blonde's hand in her hair and nothing else. "It's okay, just do it."

Half an hour later saw JJ and Emily standing outside of the exam room, bidding goodbye to Annie.

"Thank you so much." Emily said sincerely, taking the prescription bag from Annie, who had taken the liberty herself to run and fetch them from the hospital's pharmacy while Emily we getting dressed again. The younger doctor had been amazing throughout the whole experience.

Annie smiled. "I'll put a rush on your blood tests and have them transferred to your doctor in Virginia. And, excuse me for the lack of professionalism, I hope they catch the bastard who did this to you."

Emily smiled, a genuine smile that had been a rare occurrence over the last few days. "Me too." She said, retaking JJs hand in hers, again comforted by the blonde's warmth.

"And if you need anything," Annie said, handing the FBI agent her card, "call me. I know we're at opposite sides of the country, but still. Anything."

"Thank you." Said Emily again, taking the card from Annie and looking to JJ. "Let's get going."

"How are you doing?" JJ asked as they re-entered the hotel room. She noted that it was only 10:30 am, and overall, the hospital trip had only taken just over two hours.

"Fine." Emily said cautiously, sitting on the end of the bed and looking around. She sighed as she smoothed the duvet cover with her hand. "Hotch won't be too happy that I can't be in the field. It's not fair on the team." She said. Annie had ordered her to stay away from the field at least until her ribs had healed, a minimum of three weeks. Emily wasn't exactly thrilled, but the pain in her side every time she breathed was a constant reminder that it was probably necessary.

JJ sat down beside Emily, in disbelief that the brunette was actually thinking about what other people would think at a time like this. "Em, none of this is fair. But we can tell Hotch whatever you want. Whether that be the truth, or we can make up some excuse, like we did this morning."

Emily sighed, again facing a big decision that her mind couldn't quite comprehend. "I'll tell him eventually, just... Not now. I'll just stick to the precinct as best I can today, and then go from there. If he demands an explanation, I can't lie to him. I don't want to lie to him."

JJ nodded. "I think that's a good idea. I told him we wouldn't be in until the afternoon- I expected it to take longer. I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

As soon as JJ said this, Emily was suddenly aware of how hungry she was- in all of her anticipation surrounding their visit to the hospital, she had forgotten that neither of them had eaten since what little pizza they had been able to consume the previous night. "Yeah, me too. Pancakes?" She said hopefully.

JJ smiled as she looked down at Emily, glad that the brunette was eating. She had been worried when Emily had hardly touched the pizza she had brought. It had become a tradition of sorts for them to sit and eat room service pancakes whenever they should be roomed together on a case.

"Of course."


	4. Chapter 4

Finally stepping in to her apartment, Emily collapsed on to her couch and gazed blankly at her ceiling, her feet spilling over the arms. The case, while only a week long, had felt like it had taken them forever to solve. It had left her emotionally drained.

Blankets, pillows, and many articles of her clothing scattered her living room floor. When she had regained consciousness after the attack the previous Friday, she had grabbed everything could before exiting her bedroom, locking the door behind her. She hadn't been back in there since, and didn't think she would be able to. Anything she needed from her bedroom she had gone without, which had been relatively easy, considering she had been out of state for the past six days. She had attempted to use her guest bedroom, but it was just too similar, and so had retired to the couch every night.

It was a rainy Saturday night, and Emily found herself contemplating how on earth she had survived the whole week as she watched rain lashing against the window. She had taken it day by day, minute by minute, deliberately separating her work from her personal life in true Emily Prentiss fashion. During the case, no matter how much the images of the beaten and murdered women would not leave her head and haunted her nightmares, she refused to let her thoughts of Joseph Lane even enter her mind when focusing on the case.

It was with that thought that her mind finally skimmed upon the person she had been avoiding, Joseph Lane. She knew that JJ and Garcia had been in quiet cahoots ever since JJ had mentioned catching him, but she also knew that there was little the BAU could do about it. There was no telling whether or not he had done this to anyone else, and without being invited in on an ongoing case, there wasn't much that the team as a whole could do- and to be honest, she wasn't sure how much energy she possessed to look further herself.

Maybe it was the fact that the charming, sweet man who had taken her on a date on Friday night seemed like a completely different person than the one who had broken in to her apartment all of three hours later. And maybe he was- she knew that it was highly likely that he had given her a false name. On top of that, the thought of potentially having to testify against him in court was terrifying. If he was caught, the chances of him pleading guilty were slim. Given the fact that he had taken the time to take her on a date, figure out her security system, and give her a fake name, it wasn't likely that he was ready to be held accountable for his actions.

With her thoughts becoming too much for her as they started wandering to the attack itself, a topic she had rendered completely off limits, she decided she would go in to the kitchen and make some food. She hadn't eaten since the night before and she was ravenous.

When she reached her fridge, however, it was only to be met with the realization that she had little to no food in her apartment. She had been in need of a shopping before she had left, and before she had left for LA for the case, she had cleared out everything that was due to go out of date before her return, which left her with a few yoghurts, a box of old Chinese takeout, some almond milk and a couple of cans of Coke.

She sighed, resigning to the fact that she would be ordering takeout tonight. "Nice one, Emily." She muttered to herself, opening the topmost of her kitchen drawers, her hands automatically finding the well-used menu for her favourite Chinese takeout, although she knew if she thought hard enough, she would be able to remember the entire menu off by heart.

Just as she was about to dial the number, however, there was a soft knock at her door.

She froze.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she approached the door, careful not to make a sound. Her security system was still intact, and she was relieved to see JJ and Garcia's friendly faces on the monitor which perched on a shelf just beside her door. Her security system remained intact, and she had a suspicion that he'd managed to find the electricity board for the whole apartment building, as she had been unable to turn on any of her lights until fifteen minutes after, when she assumed he had turned it back on.

Taking another deep breath in an attempt to calm her now erratic heartbeat, she plastered a smile on her face and opened the door. She was met with JJ and Garcia, and her sense of smell immediately told her that she white plastic bag Garcia held in her hands was full of Chinese food from said favourite restaurant.

"Hey guys. What are you doing here?" Although not unhappy to see them, Emily hadn't been expecting their visit. Regardless, she stepped back and let them in, feeling the cold rush of night air that they brought with them.

"I should think that a night full of trashy movies and feel good food is quite called for after a week full of humanity's yuckiest, my beautiful crimefighter." Garcia rambled as she laid everything down on Emily's coffee table.

Emily shot a quick glance at JJ, asking with her eyes just how much Garcia knew about what had happened. JJ responded with a squint and a shrug, holding her hand out evenly to indicate that Garcia maybe knew something, but she wasn't sure.

"Sounds amazing." Emily said truthfully. It would be nice to not have to sit alone with her thoughts for the night, she decided. Even if herself and Garcia's tastes in movies differed a great deal, a movie night with all the girls in the team was always a good time.

As they settled down, talking about inconsequential things and laughing, Emily found it hard to get comfortable. No matter which way she sat, she could still feel the ever-present ache all over her body. She glanced at the time on her phone, realising that she was overdue for her pain medication by over an hour.

Her injuries had improved over the last week. She could now walk without a limp, although her ankle still twinged painfully whenever she stretched or moved it too quickly. Most of her bruises had faded or turned a horrible yellow colour instead of purple, and her face wasn't as swollen anymore- with a good layer of concealer, the were pretty much unnoticeable. However, she still had a number of deep purple bruises on her ribs, which still ached as badly as they had when they were first injured. The stitches she'd had put in were dissolvable ones and should be gone in around a week.

Her doctor in Virginia, Dr Kate Shaw, had called to confirm that Annie had transferred everything over to her, and that the results of her blood test should be in any day now. She also needed to go back in a few days to have further tests done- pregnancy, for example. It would have been too early to tell when Annie had taken her blood. She hadn't been able to bring herself to think about the chance that she may be pregnant- it was another thing that was incomprehensible at the moment.

Dr Shaw had been her doctor for many years now, had always made sure to call and make sure Emily was okay when, yet again, she saw another on-the-job injury pop up on Emily's records. She had also been the doctor assigned to Emily during the whole Doyle fiasco. Emily was forever grateful that Kate had taken on such a big responsibility with as much grace as she did, and admired how understanding she had been.

"You okay?" JJ asked, watching as Emily's face contorted in pain as the brunette continued to try to get comfortable. Garcia was in the kitchen retrieving cutlery for them all.

"Yeah, just sore." Emily admitted. JJ sighed, knowing that Emily most likely had not taken her medication. She glanced around, looking for the prescription bag.

"Where are your meds?" JJ asked.

"In my go bag." Emily said, pointing to the black hold-all resting under the coffee table. "But I need to eat before I can take them." She added, to which JJ nodded.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm starving." She said, as Garcia returned.

"Amen to that, my blonde-haired beauty." She chirped, handing out the cutlery before they all dug in.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, each of them enjoying their meal too much to talk.

"So, are you guys going to tell me who Joseph Lane is?" Garcia piped up after a while, looking expectantly between Emily and JJ, both of whom had frozen at the question.

JJ glanced worriedly at Emily. She hadn't explicitly told the brunette that she was having Garcia look in to this guy, she had so far gone on the assumption that Emily just knew. However, by the way that she froze as soon as his name mentioned, she was worried that Emily didn't know quite as much as she had assumed.

Emily was having trouble forming words. She knew that Garcia was likely to bring it up, but that hadn't prepared her. A thousand thoughts flew through her head, all of her options in that moment. She was torn between playing dumb or opening up and spilling everything. Eventually, she swallowed and looked at Garcia.

"Who?" She asked, in a horrible attempt at nonchalance, even for a profiler. Garcia simply rolled her eyes as her friend's act.

"Just because I'm not a genius profiler, does not mean I can't see right through that. You know, the guy who JJ has asked me to look into, and who I know you know about as well because you two have been all secretive and glance-exchanging all week. So, spill the beans." She demanded, crossing her arms and waiting.

Emily sighed. She knew she couldn't keep this from everyone. She didn't want to, but what had happened to her was incomprehensible to her at this point. She needed some time to comprehend it, to sort it all out in her head. But it was unfair to lie straight to Garcia's face. She knew she would be understanding.

With a nod to JJ signalling that it was okay, she took a deep breath and launched in to the story.

"The guy who I said who tried to steal my bag on Friday night? Him. Except he didn't steal my bag..." She began, and proceeded to tell Garcia the whole story, with occasional interruptions from JJ whenever the blonde noticed that Emily was struggling to continue.

By the time she had finished, Emily felt the familiar feeling of nausea she was left with every time she thought about the attack. The nausea was accompanied by a racing heartbeat and a lump in her throat, rendering her nearly unable to speak by the time she had explained it all.

Emily wasn't the only one unable to speak. Garcia had tears running down her face at the mere thought of anyone hurting her precious friend, never mind when it had actually happened. Without speaking, Garcia flung herself on to Emily, wrapping her in a famous Garcia fix-it-all hug. Emily winced as the blonde technician put pressure on her still aching ribs, she didn't mind. It was one of those hugs that seemed to fix everything.

"Sweetie, why didn't you tell me?" Garcia asked, drawing back and examining Emily at arm's length.

"I didn't want to keep it from you, I just..." Emily trailed off, sighing. "I needed some time. And we had a case to focus on, I wasn't about to let this get in the way."

Garcia sighed at her friend's stubbornness when it came to putting herself first. "Well, don't you worry, because my wicked technological genius brains can track down any scumbag you please."

"Did you find anything?" Emily asked.

"Unfortunately, not much. As we haven't been invited in on this case, and we're not even sure if he's done it before or will do it again, I have to be careful about what I look in to off radar." Garcia said, pulling out her laptop.

"But you have something?" JJ asked hopefully, abandoning her plate and leaning forward to look at Garcia's laptop.

"I found Joseph Lane, and I pulled apart his life. I looked under every single rock, but didn't find anything worth remembering. I tried to channel your profiler-prowess through myself and go for everything I thought you would ask me to check, but nothing. Joseph Lane is your typical, office-job-working, little-league-coaching, husband to Sarah Lane, and father of Gracie and Danny Lane. No criminal record, no disciplinary notices on the office records, no shady childhood reports or expurgations or anything." Garcia recited, flicking through file after file at rapid speed.

"Yeah, we think he gave a false name. He probably came into contact with Joseph Lane briefly, and remembered the name." Emily said, looking at the picture of Lane on the screen. This man had a kind, sheepish face. His hair was a light, sandy blonde colour and his eyes were a deep green- completely different to the icy blue eyes void of emotion that she could remember so vividly.

"I think he would have to know the building well to be able to cut off the power like that, or to be able to get past your security."

"Do you have a landlord?" Garcia asked, opening up a new search and getting ready to start typing.

"No, I bought the apartment about two years ago, just after Haley died." Emily said. "Hotch arranged that it wouldn't be sold while I was, uh, in Paris."

Garcia nodded sadly. While Emily had been back for over six months now, and she had completely forgiven the brunette for going what was necessary to ensure the survival of herself, her team, and an eleven-year-old boy, it still hurt to think about such a dark time, when she thought that one of her family was dead.

"What about cleaners, cat-sitters?" Garcia asked, putting emphasis on 'cat-sitters'.

"I have a cleaner who comes in every Friday morning, his name is Andy Greenith, but I had you do a thorough background check on him, if I remember correctly. And you know you're my favourite cat-sitter." She added with a smile. "But my neighbour, Brianna Cameron, sometimes stops by to make sure he has food and water, and lets him in and out."

"Okay, so do a background check on her." JJ told Garcia, who began typing furiously. "See where she works, who she hangs out with, any family members."

"She has a cousin, Martin Hughes, he lives in North Carolina and comes to stay with her sometimes. He's a nice guy, and not who we're looking for." Emily told them, although she knew Garcia would check him too.

"Also check out Andy Greenith, just to see if anything new has popped up. What about neighbours? Anyone new to the building?"

Emily exhaled. "Couldn't tell you. I'm never really here, so besides my immediate neighbours, Brianna and sweet old Mrs Cobbs across the hall, I never see anyone else in the building." She said truthfully. The elevator that was just outside of her apartment took her straight to the lobby of the apartment building, almost right at the main door. As she often spent weeks away on cases or hours away at the BAU, she never got a chance to see or interact with any of the people whom she shared an apartment building with.

"Are you sure? You haven't seen any 'for sale' signs or anything?"

"Nothing." Said Emily with a note of finality, blood rushing to her face. She felt a bit embarrassed that she didn't know more about the people who lived beside her. It was part of her job as an FBI agent to be observant and calculated, always paying attention to everything.

There were a few moments of silence while Garcia typed away, the occasional hum or sigh of discontent coming from her.

"I don't see anything funny about Andy Greenith. Not since the last time I checked, anyway. I could turn over a few more rocks which would take more time, but I don't see anything obvious."

"I'm guessing you'll need your whole system for a complete background check of Brianna as well?" Emily asked.

"Yes."

"We would need to interview her too." JJ added, looking at Emily expectantly.

Emily sighed. She knew what this meant. They needed permission to go any further, and to get permission they needed to report it. It also meant that they, more like she, needed to tell the whole team what had happened. She knew that if they took on the case, it would be against both her morals and her duty as an agent to withhold details of an investigation from them.

"There's no saying whether the team will be invited in or not."

JJ sighed and looked at Emily. "Em, this guy is organised. He obviously planned this in advance. He was aggressive and showed no signs of hesitation. This is all evidence to point to the fact that he may have done this before, and will most likely do it again. Plus," she paused, raising her eyebrows in amusement. "You seem to forget what a kickass communications liaison I was. It may not be my job anymore, but all I have to do is make a few calls and this case is ours."

Emily looked down at her hands, the nails of which had been completely bitten down in her anxiety. She knew that every word JJ said was true, and that if this had been any other case, she would not have hesitated.

"Okay, then. Make your calls, and we can tell the team."

JJ carefully wrapped her arms around Emily, not failing to notice the way the brunette flinched. "We will catch this guy, Em. If it's the last thing we do."

"I'll take your word for it." Emily chuckled, the heaviness of the atmosphere and the butterflies in her stomach as JJ hugged her becoming too much. "My doctor called to confirm that Annie had called them to transfer everything here, and that the results of my blood tests and swabs should be in any day now." She informed the two agents.

Garcia gasped. " _You,"_ she said, pointing at JJ, "got _her_ ," now pointing at Emily, "to go to the doctor?" She asked incredulously.

"I did." JJ said proudly, crossing her arms across her chest, obviously feeling quite smug at this fact.

"You're acting as if you had to use bodily force and master brainpower." Emily muttered, rolling her eyes. "If you remember, I went without a fight." She pointed out, her turn to be proud.

Garcia considered this for a second, before saying, "Yes, but I also remember the time you threatened to take out that poor paramedic after the Unsub pistol whipped you."

"And the time you refused to go the hospital after Cyrus did a number on you." JJ chimed in, causing Emily to glare at them both.

"Weren't we supposed to be watching a movie?" She said, knowing they were right, although she had a smirk playing at the corners of her mouth, glad that even after this, she could still enjoy light banter with her best friends.

"Changing the subject, but okay." JJ muttered, grabbing the remote as they began their debate over what movie to watch.

On Monday, Emily and JJ walked towards Hotch's office. Emily's heart was pounding. The thought of telling the story of what had happened to her yet another time to someone who she found could be quite intimidating, especially when they weren't in the field, was terrifying.

JJ took Emily's hand in hers. Emily noticed that they had done that a lot over the past week, and it felt completely natural. She also couldn't help but notice the butterflies that waltzed around her stomach every time she saw the blonde enter the room. But she shook her head to dispel the thoughts. There was no way that JJ felt the same way and anyway, now was not the time to be deliberating over it.

"Hey, why did you text everyone to come to Hotch's office?" Reid asked, holding up his phone and looking confused.

"Because she wants everyone to come to Hotch's office." Morgan replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice as he sauntered over to them, joined a few seconds later by Rossi.

"That's implied, yes. But I was referring more to the specific reason why-"

"I was being sarcastic, dumbass. No one knows why." Morgan snarked, although he was smiling.

"Behave." JJ warned the two of them, sharing an amused look with Rossi. Between JJ and Rossi, they were definitely the disciplinaries of the team.

"Prentiss? You wanted a meeting?" Hotch asked, poking his head out of his office and raising his eyebrows when he saw the whole team waiting outside.

"Yes. Uh, can we go inside?" She asked nervously, glancing around and seeing employees milling around the bullpen.

Hotch nodded once, frowning at Emily's higher than normal voice, and backed away from the door to allow everyone entrance. Once everyone was in, he closed the door and turned to Emily, silently asking her what was going on.

"We have a potential case." She started, deciding to explain the logistics of the situation first before bringing herself to repeat her story yet again.

She explained the situation to them all, and when she was done, Hotch looked at her.

"And who is the victim?" He asked. Emily had simply explained the situation to him, omitting her name where necessary.

"Well, uh..." She trailed off, looking at everywhere except her teammates. She hesitated for a moment, trying to find words into which to put the bombshell she was about to drop.

There was a quiet gasp from the corner of the room, and Emily looked up to see Morgan looking a mixture of heartbroken and outraged. Apparently, he had cottoned on to what she was about to say.

"No." He breathed, his eyes pleading with Emily to tell him something different.

"Yeah." Emily said, her voice breaking. "It's me."

There were a few moments of silence, in which the weight of Emily's confession settled in the air like the reverb of a resounding gong.

"I'm sorry." Hotch eventually broke the silence, his face slipping from his natural, guarded composure to one of genuine concern, which was reflected in his voice.

"Yeah, me too." Emily said quietly. "But there's a case, and we need to take it."

Hotch turned to JJ. "Is it stupid to ask if you've been in contact with the police department?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"Absurdly." JJ replied.

"Alright then." Hotch said in an authoritative tone, standing up from his relaxed stance against the desk. His movement seemed to jolt the rest of the team out of their state of shock and they all sprang to their feet.

"Let's get to work."


	5. Chapter 5

So, basically.

I love this story so much. Love love love. And I love writing it. But I feel like I got off on the wrong foot and there are bits and pieces I would like to go back and edit. I also work full time and lead at my local church 4 nights a week- it's a pretty busy life, and writing time is scarce.

So, I'm going to take this story down. I'm going to keep working on it, and post it when it's finished. This will mean I don't feel as pressured to get updates up super quick, I don't have to keep you guys waiting, and I can also go back and edit it so that it's to the best of my ability.

Hope you understand!

Happy Existing!


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